State Secrets, Handle with Care: American Style

It's finally happened. You've become too self-aware. So self-aware, in fact, that your interior monologue is now exclusively in the second-person. Is that how being self-aware works? You guess. Really, you'd assumed that self-awareness was accompanied by, or embodied by, the first-person pronoun. You guess that can still be the case. But really it's a bit of a 50/50 split. Second-person monologues are more for matters of self-regulation, whereas first-person is linked with identity and emotion. Or something along those lines. So you're regulating yourself? You find that strange; you had always voted republican.

Goddammit, your thoughts are pedantic as all hell. You need to calm down. Get things straight in that ol' noggin of yours. Get things square.

You are Slender man. Ace detective. Budding literary savant. You are aware that you are a work of fiction. A half-assed parody of an internet horror myth. You had that discovery not too long ago, followed by a weird existential episode. Did you just... did you just make a hyperlink in your own thoughts? How did you do that?

You are working a case assigned to you by the Eldritch Bureau of Investigations. It involves state secrets of the utmost secrecy. You have to deliver a sensitive package to an informant. Handle with care. This task has brought you to the docks on the south side of town. Nasty place. Filled with surly fishy fishermen coming home to roost. The sun is going down. Soon the children will come home from school. Soon the docks will be empty, Now is your only chance. You can figure out the mystery of the second-person thoughts once you have solved this case.

But how will you find the informant?

- Ask a fearblogger.
- Look around on your own.
- Give up and go home.